THE TILED WALL
I don’t know if the images will ever be finished. Parts of the story and the images will (probably) change again and again…
I don’t know if I’ll ever be satisfied with that work. But that’s the basic story:
Feeling confronted with an unknown, faceless power… not understanding what happens to you. It is like a dream. Surreal. Cold and strange. There is nothing you can do. You just let it happen. Paralyzed. Fragile. Just lying there and wait.
The unknown gets a face, a shape, a frame. You are confronted with its structures. You are confronted with the need to follow the structures and everyday rules. You feel the control and compulsion, although you do not experience violence. You understand your powerlessness, but you don’t understand what happens. Or why it happens. You feel overwhelmed by the incomprehensibility and strangeness of the situation. Helpless. Alone. Not able to resist. Is it a dream or are you awake? You are not sure what you feel. You are not sure who you are. You are alone and looking for something familiar. For something to hold on to. Something real. You meet a friend. Does he really exist? Or is it just you yourself that you meet?
You don’t know if you can trust your perception. You still don’t know what’s happening to you. You feel weak and desperate. Longing for clarity… for something real. And the longer the situation lasts, the more you feel you have nothing to lose.
So you stop following the rules. You are provoking and you are looking for your freedom. Self-determination. Identity. It’s better to be crazy than to be nothing.
But they bring you back. Suppress your feelings by force. They want you to be nothing. They… want your best.
You are broken and powerless. And they start to transform you. They take your brain, your will. They take your doubts away. They let you be a doll. A happy, happy doll without the desire to questioning or to understand. Without the desire for reality. They let you feel a new kind of freedom. The freedom of being nothing.
Part I – Arrival
Part II – Captivity
Part III – Transformation
Part IV – Acceptance/ „Marriage“
Sketches, Reminder, Approaches…
“Sleep, my dear, sleep!“… I made you waiting and stole your body. Against your will. But your will will break. You’ll be mine. You’ll be nothing. And you’ll be happy.